


you can't infect me

by nahmooste



Category: Professional Wrestling, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: BTE divergence, Canon Divergence, M/M, kinda kenny's character development, misery and angst, okay the bucks are only mentioned in passing, tbh naito is only mentioned in passing too, very wordy and not a lot of dialogue but i like how this turned out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 13:02:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14136588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nahmooste/pseuds/nahmooste
Summary: Kenny loses himself in the darkness for a while, and then Kota walks back into his life.***BTE divergence: everyone leaves Kenny before he rejoins with Kota





	you can't infect me

There's a kind of fire in Kenny's bones when he thinks about it all; a rage that twists his best intentions and spits out something less than pure, something more than filth, even though that's what he is and how he feels.

 

He feels filthy. Dirty. Like there have been hands on him that don't belong there and fingerprints left as bruises. But it's all in his head, locked away in a place he doesn't acknowledge or care about, and here he is wondering why all of his friends are leaving him for dead.

 

He doesn't think about Kota or what it might do to him. Kenny's selfish, dastardly, a little cynical, and even with Kota somewhere in the mix of things, they're not together and never will be. That ship sailed away long ago. Kota doesn't know him anymore; not like he used to. Not that he ever thought Kota would care after everything that happened.

 

It's like water is pooling into his lungs and for the first time in his life, there's no one around to hold his hand and drag him out.

 

But there's a light. Something to distract him from a constant train of thought that threatens to derail him entirely (as if he has time for any of it at all). Kenny glances every chance he gets, hoods his eyes and smirks and he knows it's working because it starts showing in his work. In the way he wrestles and in the way he holds himself, always standing so Kenny is in his vision, always where he should be but never paying attention.

 

Kazuchika thinks he's special. Kenny plans to ruin him.

 

He doesn't even have to say anything. The night he wrestles Naito, Kazu pulls him into a room and locks the door. His body is bleeding sexual tension, eyes inky with lust, and Kenny can only smirk before he's being ordered to take off his clothes.

 

He complies, mostly, because it distracts him from more pressing issues. Because it _feels_ good. Makes him feel more human, though Okada looks less than. Sinful, even, and Kenny thinks that he might've been in love with the feeling if it wasn't _Okada_ making him feel, or Okada at all. Or if he wasn't in his own skin, or if he wasn't wallowing in his own self-loathing.

 

There's a toxic grin that pulls at Kenny's lips when he thinks about the Bullet Club days. How he let himself fall into that dark place so readily to be part of something more than him, and now he's more than it and he should owe Bullet Club at least a little gratitude, but... there's nothing.

 

Not anymore.

 

Not with the Bucks gone. Not with that bridge burnt.

 

So, yeah, Okada comes as a welcomed distraction, Kenny admits. Breathless moans and voiceless yells, because little Kazu isn't so little and he's not that gentle, either, not that Kenny would have it any other way, and because there is no way Okada is going to let him make _any_ kind of noise when someone like Naito is on the prowl.

 

It's an interesting dynamic; Okada loves to fuck men and Naito loves to fuck men. Kenny gets fucked by them both. Okada and Naito despise each other, despite having colourful history.

 

He gets off on imagining the hate sex (though, to be fair, he gets off on a _lot_ of things relating but not limited to Okada and Naito and Ibushi).

 

Kenny likes being used.

 

The truth is... he doesn't care who he's used by. Okada with his height, cheekbones that can break his spine and stamina that leaves him utterly spent. Naito with his lazy yet always hitting-the-spot accuracy.

 

But Okada is something different. Young and naïve, believing the world is his oyster and all that shit. Kenny wants to see him fall into that same pit he did. Wants to know that he won't be alone in how he suffers. It's a morbid thought. A horrible thing to wish on someone.

 

There's a certain kind of toxicity in Kenny's essence that taints everything around him.

 

"You want to start this again?"

 

Kenny reaches to lock the door himself.

 

He doesn't know that Ibushi stands outside the entire time. Listening to every single noise. Every moan. He doesn't see the way Ibushi frowns in confusion. Or slumps in sympathy. All Kenny knows is that Ibushi's never seen him lower.

 

But then he's there the next day. The next, too. The one after that. Days turn into a week, two, and then three, and then Kenny starts to take notice of it. The fact that Ibushi is at every event, waiting around every corner. Even Okada notices, who never notices anything, because why does he have to?

 

"You know Ibushi is following you, yes?"

 

He knows now. It's an uncomfortable feeling that has him second guessing everything he does. Kenny's never really paid attention to the eyes on him, tried not to, at least, but he can't force himself to ignore these eyes.

 

Even with no one, even alone and broken and absolute trash, Kota still finds a way to get him as jittery as he was on their first date.

 

Kenny tries to pretend like he isn't craving affection. Like he isn't craving something more than other men using him. Not like he deserves to even be in the same vicinity as Kota anyway, all things considering, and it twists at Kenny's face even more. When was the last time he smiled?

 

Not a moment passes that Kenny doesn't hate himself. Even after they hug in that ring and escape from the arena, shrouded in towels and jackets and shadows because they are _deep_ in enemy territory. It doesn't really hit him until they're on his hotel bed later that night. Kenny, tears pouring down his face, and Kota holding him tighter than ever before... they _fit_. 

 

Every tear feels like a weight lifted. He cries until he's broken and then he lets Kota heal him, because that's how they work.

 

Kota doesn't want much in life. Not sex. Not money. Not fame. Nothing Kenny can give him. The only thing Kota wants is to experience life and to hold Kenny as he falls asleep.

 

Kenny thinks he can live with that.


End file.
